Skip to main content

zencare talk: working with the addict

the addict alcoholic's mind is comprised of mutually reinforcing outlooks that create stress:

a view of oneself as being profoundly unique and different from all others in the universe; the addict/alcoholic believes his/her thoughts cannot be understood
—this results in what the buddha termed papancha, or self obsessed thought: what do others think of me?
The alcoholic takes everything personally, considering himself a victim, conspiracies
feels "uncomfortable in his own skin,"

three fold disease alcohol and drugs are stress responses.
he's rendered so stressed, that his search is invariably for an external, magic bullet, solution.
—damn the long term consequences.
drugs and alcohol work at first, relieving the mental agitation and stress, but in the long term one develops a tolerance
the addict/alcoholic doesn't believe other solutions exist

the problem with the false solutions—drugs, drink, etc:
—external solutions, don't address the underlying condition
—they stop working, we become habituated
—result in the alcoholic becoming more and more isolated, which reinforces the underlying spiritual outlook

addictive coping strategies that keep addiction in :
isolation & avoidance
victimization narratives: its my ex-wifes fault we're not married, my children's fault we're not close, my boss's fault i was fired, etc
secretiveness, esp an unwillingness to be open with feelings of fear or anger.
—fatalism: doesn't believe transitory mental states will pass or be relieved.
—dishonesty: doesn't acknowledge unskillful actions.

greatest enemy is a lack of openess to other solutions to stress
—he doesn't trust anyone to listen non-judgmentally
—he doesn't believe there are other solutions

keys to recovery

to regain trust the the addict alcoholic has to be in a group of other alcoholics; the underlying self view of uniqueness will be shaken.
—hopefully the addict alcoholic will find courage to express the obsessive thoughts & fears: 5th step, 9th step.
—the alcoholic takes up service, helping others, unravels low self-esteem.

working with the alcoholic

1) keep in mind karma and the teachings on equanimity.we cannot save everyone. some people's past actions are so self-destructive, their histories so littered with trauma, the resultant stress and suffering so great.
its important to understand our limitations.
—if you're invested in their recovery; if they're a husband, wife, son, daughter, get someone else involved.

2) don't take it personally. an alcoholic / addict is capable of saying anything when their addictions are the topic of discussion. its not about you.

3) is it the right time? the buddha said that speech always must meet three conditions 1) it must be true, 2) it must be useful/helpful and 3) it must be at the right time.
most alcoholics/addicts will never welcome a talk about their addiction; interventions are generally a measure of last resort and rarely work.

4) start by sharing your own experiences. the alcoholic / addict is extremely sensitive to any feelings of feeling "lesser than" or "judged" or "different." if you start by explaining your own addictions and fears, the alcoholic will feel less cornered and judged.
—if you have no experiences with addiction then bring someone.

5) provide hope. its important to state that there are plenty of resources available now to reduce stress, that they don't have to go it alone.

6) try to jump immediately if they open up to seeking help. its helpful to have the number of AA intergroup at hand.

Comments

  1. Check out Blessed are the Addicts by John A. Martin, an extraordinary understanding of addictions as a spiritual sadness.

    ReplyDelete
  2. When I am stressed, I experience overwhelming fatigue. I get lightheaded and feel like someone literally tied my stomach in a knot. I also have anxiety as well.
    Andrew Jhonsonn
    antianxiety-drugs.com

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

fear

There are times in life when intrusive, fear based thoughts latch hold of us, filling the mind with swarming, buzzing thoughts, distracting us during interactions with others, muting the sensory richness of each moment—the sounds, body sens ations, aromas, feelings and on. Such dire visitors—generally based on past resentments or speculative fears—can easily bait and hook us, threatening us with annihilation, repeating constantly; given how constant the messages can be, releasing such thoughts can feel like ignoring ‘the world is going to end’ new flashes on CNN or city sirens announcing impending hurricanes. The mind can really play tricks that make it all to easy to abandon the present, which is, of course, the only place of true safety and utility. When we find the mind latching onto these narratives, images or moods, and we can’t reassure, reason with or let go, sometimes the only solution is to give up the battle and actually write down what our fears are trying to tell us. If

5 ways to resist obsessive thoughts (Vitakkasanthana)

The mind can be thought of as a committee Our thoughts are present by many "voices," some skillful and unskillful W there are some skillful voices in there, focusing on useful ideas, there are also the many voices in the "committee" that cause us suffering by advancing and encouraging useless, stress inducing ideas, plans, worries. Some examples of unskillful, stress producing obsessions —are dedictated to figuring out the worst possible outcomes (fear) of any situation —fixate on unknowable future events, i.e. what will we experience later in life? —try to figure out what other people are thinking about us —compare ourselves with others, especially in material concerns in general, the buddha broke these down the thoughts of craving, aversion and delusion. How unskillful internal voices persuade us some of these committee members try to get their way by —most work by repeating the same thought over and over —some split into thousands of variations that seem differe

Integrating the Head with the Heart

Integrating The Head With The Heart Summary of Insights Winter 2016 - Josh Korda ~ I’m an empowered Buddhist dharma teacher, which means I spend a lot of time addressing groups of students, in the course of annual retreats and two or three weekly classes around Manhattan and Brooklyn; however, the focal point of my life’s work involves providing one-on-one spiritual and psychological mentoring to individuals. What’s of central importance to my interpersonal work is emotion integration, by which I mean the practice of bringing one’s underlying, spontaneous, instinctive feeling states into ongoing conscious attention and decision making. Now, you may well wonder, why would anyone need help perceiving or assimilating emotions? Aren’t they readily apparent? However, I’ve found, over the course of working in depth with hundreds of individuals, that many of us live at estranged distances from our authentic feelings, depending on strategies of denial, numbing, and