meaningful connection and support

We support each other in the most lasting and meaningful way by listening and providing a stable, safe connection to each other's underlying emotions and feelings, rather than following the impulse to get caught up in details or judgments, to fix mistakes, to immediately agree or disagree with actions, etc.

So, what does empathetic connection look like?

1) We direct our attention to someone, and sustain it, putting aside all our inner commentaries and distractions

2) We read the core emotional state that lies beneath their words. This requires focused attention: reading facial expressions, body language, listening to vocal inflections, etc.

3) When a true connection occurs, we begin to somatically feel a sympathetic articulation of the emotion they're expressing and manifesting

We're choosing to focus on what lies beneath their stories; details separate and isolate us, while feelings unite and connect, for they are universally experienced. So, even if there's conflict, ask: what's motivating this conversation? What are they feeling right now? What am I feeling right now?

By finding the mental states beneath the words, we can often defuse confrontation and defensiveness.

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fear

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