Is There Life on Earth?

Our ancestors knew that physical proximity, being seen in the eye of others via direct, face-to-face contact was, and is, the core foundation of mental and physical health. Without the emotional co-regulation that community provides, our sympathetic nervous systems never switch off, we’re forever on guard. 

     Remember: The human species survived and thrived because we lived in tribes where individuals labored not just for themselves, but the benefit of others; we didn't survive by outrunning predators, for we are without wings, shells or claws; we survive because we are pack animals, wired to connect, our primary means to survive threats and heal our wounds; without connection chronic stress is the inevitable result.

     Loneliness is not a spiritual state to seek, it’s a health risk: the bonds of community, emotional mirroring, acceptance heal our wounds, help us grow, produce states of ease and confidence. People in communities live significantly longer, healthier lives.

     Without the the support of a tribe we’ll spend our lives without the core tool humans have to process and heal our losses, our frustrations, our disappointments: disclosing our pain to others, in search of validation, naturalization, soothing.

     The emotional body of the isolated individual can only feel terrifying, for without connection we have no way to truly process our pain; the 21st Century loner runs from the feelings of loneliness and frustration; consuming anything to make the feelings go away: drinking, shopping, eating, taking drugs, flipping through a parade of faces on dating apps—swiping left or right as if looking to purchase a toaster oven on a shopping site, rather than reducing other human beings to ‘like’ and ‘dislike’—or perhaps binge watching anything to numb the pain. 

     Alas the dopamine wares off, and and the feelings are even worse. So its back to the bottle, the credit cards, the ice cream, the casual hook ups, and the cycle goes on and on. Because, in the end, its not the release of the addiction that is really craved…what is really sought after is connecting with the feelings  lost along the way, which are the feelings of being alive… not just the happiness and confidence and joy, but the states that have been buried, such as loss, grief, anger, boredom. 

   We can only know what it is to be alive when we can connect with each and every emotion of the human experience. Either the natural way, amidst others, or the painful way, alone, amidst the isolated shame of addict.