dharmapunx NYC

Of all the passages in our recovery literature I find unintentionally amusing—and there are many—one stands out. It is a memorable paragraph about those alcoholics who “for a variety of reasons cannot have a family life.” They are consoled with the wildly thrilling prospect of transforming themselves into “prodigies of service.” It’s supposed to be inspiring. I remember one friend who used to sigh audibly and cross her arms angrily when this portion was read aloud at Twelve Step gatherings. No doubt she was shuddering at the thrilling plans the program had in store for her. Perhaps she, like me, imagined armies of childless drunks and addicts, dressed in colorless work uniforms, dutifully sweeping up after their happily married fellows had gracefully departed the meetings, en route to the Hamptons. At least the industrious spirits left behind would be lifted by the thought of helping another alcoholic. This patronizing pat on the head is by no means an isolated theme in recovery l...

Grasping: in a consumer culture, bombarded by marketing, with the basic message being: " you need this to be ____ safe, happy, loved, etc " —we're bathed in an overriding meme, that there's something that must be gathered in, grasped, attained and clung to if we're to be achieve any lasting peace. —its not just in our advertisements, it lurks in the messages we receive from institutions, chasing diplomas, commendations, linkedIn recommendations, clean bills of health, etc. this movement can easily be brought into our spiritual lives as well… we want to gather in some special insights and tools to find lasting peace —its no wonder that so much of spiritual literature and courses do so well —what we learn: i pay to be given something that i'm missing to get me where i can find happiness inherent in grasping and gathering and clinging are at least four important, unconscious events: 1) there's a putting off into the future of inner peace; a sense t...

in capitalism, basic human fears and vulnerability are assuaged by a constant influx of mind boggling toys and transfixing sensual perceptions. —we have a steady supply of gadgets, delivering endless media that provide us with hours of distractions —we can travel to every corner of the globe in search of a wide variety of experiences —lifestyles of the rich and famous are paraded before us, creating the illusion that if we play our cards right, we too can live 'endlessly glamorous lives' as science and technology promises us longer lifespans with more efficient medications, so the notion of coming to grips with mortality are conveniently put aside . elaborate social media networks provide everyone the opportunity to feel like "a star for at least 15 minutes" transfixed by our Facebook followers and the 'likes' our postings receive. so material consumption is established as the means and ends to security and happiness. —we chase after the worldly win...

We don't get to nibbana and the end of suffering until we reach the end of the world Our desire to "figure out the world and life" stems from a craving for immediate security, immediate control, immediate avoidance of any discomfort. —The conceptual, linguistic, literal mind wants to figure it all out so that we can live without loss or discomfort. —The left hemisphere is the source of so much of our optimism and sense of control. We cobble together maps of the world, people, life, from a vast array of second hand sources, “common sense,” which point us towards external, short term happiness. —“Work hard and you can accomplish anything." “Absence makes the heart grow stronger.” Not always true. —Views are simplistic, reductionist,subject to examples that break the rules A feeling of control and power that derives from believing we've got it all sussed, rather than our mind is just filled with a bunch of second hand ideas that help us some of the time ....

We learn by watching others, seeing what works and doesn't work. As human beings we have mirror genes that allow us to empathize with the sufferings of others. Our feelings of safety and security depend on feeling accepted and protected by the tribe; being ostracized cuts deeply, often leaving us feeling alone, insecure, self-doubting. It can be disconcerting when we are criticized, in relationships, work, families, friends, art. —sharp, chiding, disparaging words about our reputations security feel threatened. —there's a tendency to turn disparagements into identity views, to feel trapped —it can leads to papanca , an inner debate with those who disapprove of us. —by the end, the mental agitation far outweighs the original reprimand if we feel there's some validity to the criticism, it's important to: —dismiss any unskillful elements as the results of stress —incorporate criticism without adding any identity view —reminding ourselves that everyone gets c...

In aour consumer culture, bombarded by marketing, with the basic message being: " you need this to be ____ safe, happy, loved, etc " —we're bathed in an overriding meme, that there's something that must be gathered in, grasped, attained and clung to if we're to be achieve any lasting peace. —its not just in our advertisements, it lurks in the messages we receive from institutions, chasing diplomas, commendations, linkedIn recommendations, clean bills of health, etc. this movement can easily be brought into our spiritual lives as well… we want to gather in some special insights and tools to find lasting peace —its no wonder that so much of spiritual literature and courses do so well —what we learn: i pay to be given something that i'm missing to get me where i can find happiness inherent in grasping and gathering and clinging are at least four important, unconscious events: 1) there's a putting off into the future of inner peace; a sense that rea...

the addict alcoholic's mind is comprised of mutually reinforcing outlooks that create stress: — a view of oneself as being profoundly unique and different from all others in the univers e; the addict/alcoholic believes his/her thoughts cannot be understood —this results in what the buddha termed papancha , or self obsessed thought: what do others think of me? — The alcoholic takes everything personally , considering himself a victim, conspiracies — feels "uncomfortable in his own skin," three fold disease alcohol and drugs are stress responses. — he's rendered so stressed, that his search is invariably for an external, magic bullet, solution. —damn the long term consequences. — drugs and alcohol work at first, relieving the mental agitation and stress , but in the long term one develops a tolerance — the addict/alcoholic doesn't believe other solutions exist the problem with the false solutions—drugs, drink, etc: —external solutions, don't address t...

everything is fragile, coming together and falling apart we can observe the amount of effort that goes into being with someone who is very ill or inclined towards death, and the other extreme, being with youthful energy, which requires containing & protecting it from harm and danger, guiding it, teaching it. likewise, we can observe all the time and energy it takes to guide a human life in worthwhile directions and to be with its day to day difficulties —we've got to sustain and feed ourselves, protect ourselves, teach ourselves, etc when we open the heart to the conditions that have to be lined up in order for our life to be sustained we see fragility; so many conditions have to be coordinated just to make it through a day —when we consider the delicacy and contingency of it all, its not surprising when things go awry —as ajahn brahma says, we shouldn't say to a doctor something's wrong, i don't feel well, but rather something's in line with the nature of life,...

We all have questions along the lines of: What is the point of it all? Why are we here? What is the transcendent nature of reality? What is important to achieve in life? What is our reason for being alive? In Plato's world , the meaning of life lies in attaining the highest form of knowledge, the ideal, from which all good and just things derive utility and value. there is a perfect, ideal version of all things, from which our world falls short. Emmanuel Kant wrote a single moral obligation, the "Categorical Imperative", demands adherence and duty. for actions to be ethical, they must lead to what is universally good utilitarianism : the point of each action is to bring about the greatest happiness to the greatest number of people Nihilism seeks to reveal the flaws and unverifiable assumptions that our transcendent truths and purpose rest upon, revealing life's lack of essential value or purpose. Taoist world view focused on an underlying energy or state of flow i...

the Buddha had many terms for things that stir up the mind. anusayas are fixations, thought habits, ideas that arise constantly kiriya means mental agitation papanca is the sheer proliferation of thought that is obsession anusayas or obsessions have seven types . we become obsessed about 1) people and things that make us feel good, that stir passion 2) people and things that make us feel uncomfortable, that stir aversion 3) our views and opinions about life, people, the world 4) our fears of the future 5) our self centered ideas; "who am i" 6) our craving to attain higher states of being, to "become better person, more equipped to tackle the world" 7) our tendency to blame external forces for our stress and unhappiness, to avoid seeing the role our mind plays in creating stress and suffering for ourselves (we tend to objectify our experience, rather than see it as a subjective process) the buddha teaches in the anusaya sutta that the purpose of spiritual practi...

disentangling the mind through awareness of feelings observing the breath, a sound arises—a repeating buzzer or car horn —a sense of aversion arises —then a thought "why do people have to be so impatient?" —perhaps a memory of a place that was quiet or peaceful —the mind moves into that fabrication, then perhaps launches into an inner dialogue "what did i do wrong or deserve to live here?" —and so with thoughts and images we move farther away from the breath and the event, the sound, that interrupted this is the process that repeats itself over and over again in the chain of co-dependent arising: sense contact with the world (phassa) leads to feeling (vedana), leads to craving (tanha) leads to attachment (upadana) leads to self-identification (bhavana). So, can we trace the mental events backwards, the self condemnation, back to the memory of the better place, back to the aversion about noise, back to the car horn or buzzer.? —we eventually wind up back wit...

We practice meditation, mindfulness and virtuous action in the hopes we'll attain a happiness and sense of security that is longer lasting and less conditional than what we've experienced so far in life. We're all familiar with the rewards of our world which, in all its bountiful array, lends its rewards only temporarily. As the buddha explained in the eight worldly winds (Lokavipatti Sutta, AN 8): "Monks, there are eight worldly winds push us about in the world. Which eight? Gain, loss, fame, obscurity, praise, blame, pleasure and pain. These are the eight worldly wind that push us about in world." The sutta goes on to detail how —the world can praise our efforts, then suddenly switch to showering us with blame —the world can provide us with pleasure, then just as quickly strike us with painful events —the world can give us a moment of fame, then snatch it away, leaving us with obscurity —the world seems to have much to gain, and just as much to take ...

the root we start off life with a fully functioning amygdala, ad a non-functioning hippocampus —this means we're capable of experiencing fear, anxiousness, wailing disappointment, traumatic big emotions without any narrative contextualization —the amygdala tags as threatening anything we experience during an emotional state if we're scared and our parents are too busy paying bills, working, dealing with their own lives, we experience 'people not paying attention to us' with vulnerability and fear —again, we have no hippocampus in crucial, formative years, to bring a sense of background perspective into why our felt needs aren't being met —regardless of how attentive or inattentive our families really were, the mind can build up these associations (of not being emotionally mirrored when we need it) into entire complexes of traumatic feelings, such as being abandoned, rejected, unconnected, unprotected, unloved. being abandoned is the most threatening vulnerabl...

[quotes at first are from David Foster Wallace's Kenyon commencement speech. He starts out by telling the story of fish that don't know what water is...] DFW: "everything in my own immediate experience supports my deep belief that I am the absolute centre of the universe; the realest, most vivid and important person in existence. We rarely think about this sort of natural, basic self-centerdness because it's so socially repulsive. But it's pretty much the same for all of us. It is our default setting, hard-wired into our boards at birth. "Think about it: there is no experience you have had that you are not the absolute centre of. The world as you experience it is there in front of YOU or behind YOU, to the left or right of YOU, on YOUR TV or YOUR monitor. "…[DFW goes on to say that the work is] getting free of my natural, hard-wired default setting which is to be deeply and literally self-centered [where everything is interpreted] through this lens of ...

the mind's circuit board is hardwired to feel insecure, unprotected so we look around for things to make us feel secure —feeding off the world, upadana clinging onto the pleasant sensations, phenomena for security —sensual pleasure, financial gain, approval, productivity, etc. beating back, fending off the sensations & phenomena —sensual discomfort, financial loss/instability, disapproval, unproductiveness, etc. as we consume and repel the world , the feelings of security last for a short while, then we are returned once again to the insecurity that is our default wiring —this is what keeps us running around worse, eventually as we feed off of these things , be it money, or approval, or health, we're setting ourselves up for horrible states in the future, as we eventually lose the ability to find peace elsewhere —the energy, momentum, karma, of clinging and resisting creates —grasping and resisting is stress, it is dukkha so we all need to practice letting...